A post about a couple who declined a brother-in-law’s request to use their bedroom during his honeymoon has ignited heated discussion on Reddit about boundaries, family obligations and personal space.
Shared in the r/AITAH (Am I The A*****e) subreddit by u/truethrowaway90211, the post has received 25,000 upvotes and thousands of comments since it was posted on June 1, with users weighing in on the etiquette of hosting newlyweds.
The poster, a 35-year-old woman, explained that she and her 36-year-old husband live in a scenic area popular for honeymooners. When her 30-year-old brother-in-law and his 28-year-old fiancée asked to stay with them during their honeymoon in August due to financial constraints, the couple agreed without hesitation.
“We agreed; they are family and are also tight on funds. We are happy to help and host them,” the poster wrote.
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The viral post comes as 69 percent of couples in the United States were reported to have taken a honeymoon after their wedding, according to a survey of nearly 17,000 couples in the U.S. who got married in 2024, conducted by The Knot, a wedding planning website.
Last year, 41 percent of couples chose to stay in the U.S., while 18 percent set off for the Caribbean and 17 percent traveled to Europe. Florida and Hawaii were tied for the top honeymoon destination in the U.S., the survey found.
‘Really Grosses Me Out’
The issue in the viral Reddit post arose when the groom-to-be requested to stay specifically in the couple’s master bedroom instead of the guest room, which contains an air mattress and doubles as a home office.
According to the poster, “My BIL [brother-in-law] didn’t really get into the specifics of why they didn’t want the guest bedroom/air mattress, but the gist seemed to be ‘we don’t think an air mattress is honeymoon appropriate.'”
The poster told her husband she was uncomfortable with the idea of someone else, especially newlyweds, using their bed.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Pat Bathurst told Newsweek that the poster’s decision to draw the line is not only understandable but healthy.
“In many families, a person can be guilt-tripped into offering more than they are comfortable with,” Bathurst said. “It’s completely fair for the original poster to set a boundary around her personal space, especially her bedroom. For most people, this is a deeply personal space.”
The husband agreed with his wife, but their refusal led to push back from other family members, particularly the husband’s sister, who insisted “it is THEIR honeymoon and they shouldn’t have to sleep on an air mattress,” the poster wrote.
This disagreement has stirred emotional tension in the family, with the poster holding firm on her boundary.
“It honestly really grosses me out because I believe that the reason they want our bedroom is so they can comfortably bang during their honeymoon on a regular, not-air, mattress,” she wrote.
Bathurst emphasized that hospitality should not come at the cost of one’s comfort or privacy. “If the in-laws are uncomfortable with sleeping on an air mattress, then they should get a hotel room or make other arrangements,” she told Newsweek.
The poster remains steadfast in her refusal to offer the bedroom, despite pressure from her husband’s family and his wavering position.
“We love everyone in this scenario… but I am not down to change my mind on this,” she wrote.
Bathurst said that maintaining one’s boundaries is essential to healthy relationships: “Hospitality should not interfere with one’s personal space or boundaries. It’s all about respect.”
‘Way Too Far Out of Acceptable Expectations’
Reddit users were overwhelmingly supportive of the original poster’s stance, criticizing the brother-in-law’s request as excessive.
“It may be THEIR honeymoon but it’s your house. Tell them if they don’t like the guest room, they’re free to get a hotel,” wrote u/barto5.
U/Agile_Menu_9776 added: “The host never gives up their bedroom. That is just way too far out of acceptable expectations. If it’s not good enough for them they should get a hotel and really it is their honeymoon and a hotel for them would be so much more appropriate.”
Another user, u/whyallthehater, succinctly stated: “For the intimate things that one does on their honeymoon they should book their own hotel.”
Several users also suggested compromises that would avoid conflict while maintaining boundaries. U/Crimsonglory13 proposed: “If they’re so upset about the air mattress, they can pay for a regular mattress to be put into the room. Or the couple can wait until next year to go on their honeymoon.”
Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment via the Reddit messaging system.
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