Woman Receives Wedding Invitation to Babysit Kids

When RSVPing “yes” to a wedding invitation, you’re expected to follow a few etiquette rules, like buying the couple a gift, following the dress code, and arriving to the ceremony on time. Beyond this code of behavior, though, being invited to a wedding is usually an opportunity to kick back and enjoy yourself. One woman wasn’t given such a privilege when a couple invited her to their nuptials. In a post on Reddit’s “Wedding Shaming” subreddit on July 11, 2024, the user explained that her invite came with a catch: having to fulfill babysitting duties.

Writing to her fellow Redditors, the woman explained that she and her husband received a wedding invitation in the mail. When she opened the envelope, she saw the main card with all of the details. “I was beyond stoked,” she recounted. “I love weddings.” 

But then, she noticed an index card with a written note that “shocked” her. The card indicated that while her husband was invited to attend the ceremony and reception, she, however, was assigned a job that would take place throughout the festivities. “I’d be in another room helping to babysit all the children there with several other female invitees,” she said. “There’s a special room for children at the church and that’s where I’d be. For everything.”

The original poster continued, letting the internet know that she would still have to follow all of the conventional etiquette rules, such as wearing a nice outfit “in case I wind up in any photos” and buying a gift—which was implied due to the addition of the couple’s registry link.

Not only would the woman have to eat her meal in the room with the kids, instead of joining the rest of the adults at their assigned tables, but she would also have to pay for it. This directive also applied to her husband. “The meals for my husband and myself would be $100 each, and we have a link to pay for it when we digitally RSVP,” the OP revealed.

The request in and of itself is shocking, but it was also insensitive for another reason. In her post, the woman described herself as “disabled at 50 years old” and often relies on an oxygen mask and mobility aids. “I could happily sit in a room and LOOK at kids but I’d be pretty useless to prevent a fall or stop a child from choking or anything else that would require me to move quickly,” she wrote. She was also “gobsmacked” she was targeted as the babysitter because she, not her husband, has been friends with the bride’s mom—who she said was “an almost-sister to me”—since she was a child. 

She turned the floor over to Reddit, asking for their advice about how to proceed. “I confess that I feel offended and hurt that I’m nothing more than a babysitter to them who is expected to pay for my supper and babysit for free,” she admitted. “Would I be wrong to simply tell them we won’t be able to attend and to find another sitter? And if we don’t go, do we still send a gift?”

Reddit quickly defended and validated the woman, expressing their outrage on her behalf. “That is the tackiest thing I’ve ever heard of,” a shocked user wrote. “Asking guests to provide free child care, pay for their meal, and give them a gift? Hell no. I would just ghost these people. They might have been your friends, but they aren’t good people, and they aren’t people you are going to want in your life anymore, because this kind of behavior will continue and escalate.”

Others suggested the Redditor handle the situation in ways that matched the audacity of the couple’s plea. “You can reply … that there must be some mistake in the invitation,” someone recommend. “Your current rate for babysitting is $20 per hour, per child. Can she please get back to you with the number of children she has been assigned?”