Many people talk about clearing out and organizing their homes. Few actually do it. The ones who do usually have reached a tipping point.
I recently shared in this column how Maureen Rabazinski, a 62-year-old nurse practitioner, had emailed me for advice on how to get her house back. The 2,200-square-foot “private oasis” that she and her husband moved to as empty nesters when they downsized eight years ago was neither private nor an oasis. Life events had sent her two 30-something sons boomeranging back to live with them temporarily. One brought a wife and three children. Meanwhile, COVID forced Maureen, who had been working in a hospital clinic, to work from home, which led to her start a thriving home-based telehealth practice.
“My home was chaos,” she said. “I couldn’t find any corner I wanted to be in.”
Her tipping point came when her younger son moved out giving her the chance to reclaim the guest room for actual guests. That caused her to look around the rest of her four-bedroom home. Grandchildren had commandeered another room, which was buried in toys. A baby crib had wound up in her office. And an unused elliptical machine was killing the restful vibe in her master bedroom.
That’s when she cried: “Help!”
My advice was simple: Create boundaries and give each room one purpose. We came up with an-easier-said-than-done task list, which included getting rid of the dust-collecting elliptical, reclaiming the guest room for short-term guests, taming the toy tornado in the grandkids’ room, and making her office a purely professional place.
I asked her to check back in two weeks. (The magic of accountability.)
Two weeks later, a period she defined as a “whirlwind workfest,” she called to report on her progress (90% done) and the unexpected benefits. “Besides loving how my decluttered, reorganized home looks, feels and functions,” she said, “my other discoveries were even more impactful.” In addition to a few aching muscles from moving heavy furniture around, here’s what she realized:
· The direct donation impact. When we spoke, Maureen had a garage full of items scheduled for pickup and ready to go to new homes. For instance, after trying to sell the barely used elliptical machine online, that behemoth in the bedroom is now going to the local Boys and Girls Club. The organization, which provides after school and summer programs for youths, will pick it up, sell it and use the money to help those they serve. Toys (enough to fill two car trunks) will go to a homeless shelter, and three bags of bed linens are tagged for the local pet rescue. “I love knowing that these unused items that were cluttering my home will make a difference in the community.”
· Purposeful repurposing. As Maureen was reclaiming her office, her older son was remodeling and replacing dark wood floors with lighter wood flooring. She took his old wood planks and had them installed in her home office, replacing her worn carpet. While clearing out the room her son had been using, she uncovered two televisions and gave them to the workers installing her flooring. “The smile on their faces was worth all the effort.” Oh, and that crib that was taking up half her office went to a friend who had just become a grandmother. “Though making a random donation is gratifying, giving items directly to someone who really needs and wants them is even more rewarding,” she said.
· Teaching moment. Maureen enlisted her grandkids, ages 7, 4 and 2, to help her decide which toys could go to children in a homeless shelter, and which ones should stay. “The two older ones would say, ‘We don’t play with this anymore. Let’s give this to them.’ They learned how good it feels to be generous. They also found they’d rather play with Gigi and PapPap than with their toys.”
· Biggest difference. “The change in my home office was the most dramatic,” she said. Besides losing the crib and gaining wood floors, she moved a bookshelf into the closet, and added a chic area rug and two cowhide chairs across from her desk to create a stylish seating area. “I was seriously surprised by how much more energized and productive I feel now that I look forward to going to my office every day.”
· Biggest lesson. “Stopping the bleedover was the hardest habit to break. I didn’t realize how much stuff that belonged in one room had overflowed into another.” Now that each room has one purpose, she’s not going back, she insists. “My job is to keep the boundaries and stop the creep, so I can maintain the new order and simplicity. If a toy comes in, a toy goes out.”
· Biggest realization. “I can still have a house that’s for the grandkids, but the toys can come out only when they visit. After they leave, we can put the kid stuff away and our home can look like an adult home again.”
· Advice for others. “If the project seems overwhelming, as mine did, break the job down to small parts,” she said. “Once I got started, however, I couldn’t stop. Seeing the progress kept me going.”
Marni Jameson is the author seven books, including the newly released“Rightsize Today to Create Your Best Life Tomorrow: A Motivational Guide for Those Seeking Their Ideal Home Later in Life”, and “What to Do With Everything You Own to Leave the Legacy You Want.” You may reach her atmarnijameson.com.
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